Testimony From Cheryl Moody

HOW I DEALT WITH MY DEPRESSION

Wow kelly, you asked the question and kinda opened up probably many more blogging dicussions. How did I deal with my depression? Well, I wrote poetry, I started a personal scrapbooked journal starting from birth till now, and I went for counselling to a dear wonderful christian counsellor who opened the doors of my heart and allowed the past of sexual abuse and neglect to escape. I learned that within every person there is a child. This little child either sleeps contentedly because they experienced a healthy, nurturing and fullfilling life as a child; or the little child is in constant battle with the adult because of a life that was filled with abuse, neglect, hardships, etc. When the child's voice has finally been heard and they have received validation, that child will finally rest. I was depressed for a long time and didn't know why but when I finally talked about the "dirty secret", the stuff that had been inflicted upon me as a child that I was too ashamed to talk about; I couldn't believe the pain, the shame, the guilt and the heartache that had been released. I know for years I had struggled as a christian woman, a wife and a mother. But I truly feel that through all my times of what I perceived as failure, God was healing a broken destroyed little heart. He was loving and healing a child within this woman. I couldn't believe the poerty I had written during this time of healing, it had come from a place so deep inside my heart that I didn't even know had existed.
I know God has been taking me on a healing journey and many times it has been painful and I would rather not take it. But it has been very necessary and I thank God that He loves this child enough that He has taken this journey with me every step of the way. I want to share a piece of poetry I wrote during this time.

Everyone’s Child



There has been this little child

living deep within my heart.

She has always been an influence

right from the very start.


I did not know she existed

so ignored that life within.

Who was crying out for attention

fighting a battle she could not win.


When others saw this woman

they would stare in disbelief.

Why can’t she get a grip on life

and stop causing herself so much grief.


But for the child within this woman

she was carrying a heavy load.

From a life filled with neglect and pain

on a lonely endless road.



She’s 41 and pushing on

but still feels like that little soul.

Who so badly needed someone

to love and hold her through it all


How can she tell others

of a battle that rages within.

Between a neglected child

and a woman fighting to win


Then someone with a discerning heart

seen through the pain and strife.

Of a deeply saddened child

trying hard to be woman and wife.



He helped the woman look deep within

and see the child there.

He showed her how to help her

how to love her and how to care


For everything in her present life

is somehow connected to her past.

And she needs to learn to recognize

when the woman and child clash.


But others need to know the truth

that everyone carries within.

Their own little child sleeping soundly

or a frightened child fighting to win.

C.Moody